It's Not About the Turkey

Have you noticed the trend this month on Facebook? Since it's the month of Thanksgiving, November carries the label of Thankful Month. We are free to show our gratitude for whatever, for everything. Things great, things dear, things we've learned, things we've avoided by some unseen hand, etc. And quite a few people I know have been faithful to post something every day as another thing they are thankful for. That's great and I enjoy reading their posts. I wish I could remember to do that everyday too. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember to brush my teeth and spit so I'm doing good to shower and put on fresh clothes for goodness sakes. And I'm thankful, believe me! There could come a day when I have to add shower and teeth to my To Do list. Unfortunately, I'm known to lose my lists. Thankful once again for a great husband that hopefully will look out for me as we get old.

Ya know this November trend doesn't have to just be a trend. It can actually be life changing. I'm learning from my own experience that times when I'm most overwhelmed, frustrated, aggravated, and tired of dealing with folks is when I am most ungrateful. People and circumstances don't seem to get to me as bad when my heart and mind are focused on being thankful. Have you noticed that in your life? It's hard to get a person down that has a positive outlook on everything. And that's the way Christ intended it to be. He knows that gratefulness will carry you through some of the toughest situations and hardest times. God doesn't expect us to act like we don't struggle or experience pain. That would be silly. But our present stresses don't have to dictate the person we are.

I'm not saying that thankfulness is a cure for all things. But I AM saying it's pretty close. It definitely plays a role in what happens next. What about you? Are you grateful for anything? Can you voice it to someone? Speak up. Be brave. And watch the good that comes from it.

Old Dreams, New Passion

Thanks to my awesome husband, I can now blog from my iPad. He convinced me to try a keypad with it and I must say, IT IS THE BOMB!! It's like having a miniature laptop. Maybe I'll be able to blog more often. Well, that depends on whether I have something to say. Sometimes I just want to be quiet and soak up life lessons. I figure they'll make their way out and onto the blog when the time is right.

Today has been the start of something new for me. I've wanted for a long time to get serious about running. I was blessed with a special birthday present which included some personal training/coaching for beginner runners. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I feel completely out of my league but realize if I don't try, it will never happen. Training with the group starts in December and my first race will be in March of next year. Your prayers are definitely appreciated!! I have been plagued with injuries in the past and allowed it to hold me back from pursuing this goal but no more. Life is far too short and important for us to lay aside our dreams because of setbacks and worries.

How things so quickly get tossed aside in our lives. I've done it with many things...the piano, learning Spanish, vocal training, etc. Sometimes it's because life takes a different turn, other times it's because we get disheartened and would rather give up than keep struggling through it. When we couple these silent dreams with our daily duties and responsibilities it's extremely hard to make ourselves stick to the program for the long term. I want to give all of it, every single dream and goal, the very best effort that I can. And I sure hope you will do more than consider this for yourself. You are worth every effort to make your dreams come true. You don't have to push your way over others to do it either. God promises to help all of us who will simply believe that we are equipped for great things. One by one...line upon line, precept upon precept, our lives can be changed into pure awesomeness. That's just the way it's meant to be. Accept it, embrace it, remember it, live it!

One More Trip

I was talking to an aunt the other day as she tried to get my uncle to talk to me on the phone. I was so excited because they are both elderly and I haven't spoken with them in forever it seemed. His sweet voice came over the phone and brought back so many memories of weekends at their house, fishing trips, meals shared, laughs together, just a lot of wonderful thoughts. He's in his late 80's so my aunt explained how he forgets who you are and what the conversation is about. Then she told me no matter how low and weak he gets, he ALWAYS wants to go for one more fishing trip. That has always been his passion, aside from preaching. And I promise you if he could, he would be in his little boat on a pond or lake somewhere at this very moment.

God spoke to my heart so strong and sweet to ask me a question. If I lost all memory, all capabilities to live this life as I do now, what would be the one thing my heart would still long to do? While pondering an answer, I was gently reminded that no matter what I've gotten accomplished or not, all I have to think about is what lies beneath everything I do everyday...what is my heart's cry. THAT is what concerns the Lord. He wants to know what motivates me to be the person I am. HE wants to be the driving factor, the difference maker.

What does your heart long to do? Are you doing it? It might be as simple as one more fishing trip, but to God it's a cry of your heart that He hears clearly. And it matters to Him.

Rich and Full-Bodied

I don't really know if it's the jogging that's making me think clearer and more focused or if it's the ham/turkey sandwich I'm stuffing in my mouth as I type. Either way I feel like I'm on a roll so I plan to go with it. School is in it's second or third week. I lose count. But it's going well. Everyone in the family is going through some type of education except Michael and me...well, let me retract that statement. Michael is being educated on the importance of using the potty instead of a pull-up. Plus, I guess I'm allowed to count the endless amounts of PBS he watches along with the DSI games and the outside time when we are out for those morning walks. I mean he DOES swing his arms like a mad man when I'm the one pushing him up and down the street in that stroller. That can count for P.E. Now instead of, "Mom, go faster. Run Mom", he says, "It's hot, GO FAST-ER!" That stroller is growing I tell ya. It's bigger than it was last week.

Someone asked me the other day what was my secret to looking so young. I took it as a compliment since I'm getting older and everything. So my daughter chimes in with, "It's the collagen." And she tries to squeeze my face every time she says it. That got me to thinking. What exactly is collagen? And doesn't celebs try to get it injected into their faces? So you know me, I looked it up on the web just out of curiosity. My reaction..."WHAT?" This is the Webster definition-tell me what you think. Collagen- any of a class of extracellular proteins abundant in higher animals, especially in the skin, bone, cartilage, tendon, and teeth, forming strong insoluble fibers and serving as connective tissue between cells, yielding gelatin when denatured by boiling.
First of all, you got me at the word extra but then add cellular to it...uhm, I think it's a formal word for fat. And I've got that kind of extracellular action all over this body. My daughter is so in trouble. By the way, it's Botox that celebs are so obsessed with. I guess collagen is something I need to be getting rid of, which leads me to the question of what happens to my fountain of youth? Will I end up looking like a dried up prune? But I figure if I want to keep eating the foods I love, I'll have to keep jogging. Oh and just last night, my daughter told me I was robust. I immediately didn't like the sound of that. I know one thing, she better start running.

Selah

In my teens, all I wanted to think about was where my dreams could take me. And the different things I could experience. I definitely wanted to travel. In my twenties, I was married to my soul mate and started a family. Somewhere during that time my dreams changed. I still wanted to travel for sure but the overall picture included other people and more challenges.

Okay, let me stop for a second. This morning on the way to church I started wondering where I'd be in 5 years. That thought actually scared me for a minute cause I honestly could not see myself in just 5 years time. So much has transpired from year to year in my life so there is no way I can imagine the outcome of what I will be like in 5 years. I was about to get worked up over it until I realized how important it was for me to view it in light of how God has held my hands in His all my life.

It ends up that as I look back, every single decade has caused me to become a different person. My twenties were caught up in having a young marriage, a young child, and a young ministry. Oh and a young relationship with God. Everything was fresh and new, which was exciting, yet unfamiliar and lonely at times. It was the first time I ever moved away from my family to follow God's call completely. Having a newborn baby made it even more difficult because I knew NOTHING about being a mother much less a good wife. And to ask me to be a youth leader of total strangers was overwhelming. But God had a plan and a goal that He methodically worked out. Of course I never saw it until years later...

The thirties brought an entirely different perspective to my life. I was more settled into the marriage, into motherhood, and into ministry. I felt confident in my relationship with God and yet there was still such a struggle in my heart. I thought about going back to college and pursued that course until I found that we were expecting another baby. There were so many responsibilities within ministry that I felt were my load to carry. Oh if only I'd have listened to God...He would have told me to back off from that thought. This decade also brought a lot of heartbreak. I recall such a lonely time in my life, actually so painful I don't like to revisit it. After almost losing my marriage, my happy family structure, and being snatched away from my little church family..I started to really look at where I'd been and where it was I really wanted to be. When Dad passed away suddenly, I felt like a part of me died right along with him. But I think it was the final sentence to a long and hard chapter where I needed so much peace and closure. It was during this time that I realized my life was but a vapor and I was not getting the most out of it. At that point, things changed. I changed.

The forties have begun and I'm not old and bitter, nor am I young and naive. I'm still struggling with things that life brings. And I desire to be a great mother and wife. But my heart has only become lighter. I am embracing the woman God is molding out of my life. The imperfections are not so blinding anymore and the issues are not so overwhelming anymore. I know He loves me, even when I'm being a Jacob and not acting like His beloved. He knows my heart better than anyone on this planet and yet He never fails to love me. I will always be amazed at that. And my heart keeps singing because of it.

The New..

I don't know whether I'm more disgusted or appalled with the blatant disdainful attitude towards the family unit. I'm almost speechless. Almost. I do have a few words. It appears the family that is trying its best to remain together through horrible circumstances and support one another is looked upon by many as inferior or even worse, offensive and abhorrent. When did we become so self centered that we can no longer respect the individuals that are blessed with others that love them everyday? What happened to us? Where is our love for God's most precious creation? The normal family (at least what I've always thought to be normal) is now considered the dysfunctional one. I think one thing is overshadowing this new viewpoint...the normal is becoming the minority. More and more families are quitting.

Just recently, I witnessed a child being mocked from an adult. That is sad enough just realizing it was adult against child but more importantly, it was a family member against their own. How very sad and I must say, this momma was mad. It sickened me to think of the homes where this kind of behavior is practiced and in some households, on a daily basis. And we wonder why 5 and 6 year olds are walking around so stressed?! Come on dad and mom..aunt and uncle..sister and brother..cousins, grandparents! Its time to take a look at how we are treating those that look up to us. What kind of example are you being? Are they aware of your love? Check yourself for a minute...do you even love them?

And for those of you that want to be legalistic in your Christianity and say God's work is the most important, please hear this tiny voice as it implores you to not despise your family responsibilities and relationships. Please don't use commitment to God's work to justify neglecting your family. That is just wrong on many levels and it does not reflect the heart of God at all. Also, for those of you that have lost your family or no longer in contact with family due to circumstances beyond your control, I sympathize with your pain and loneliness. If you will choose not to hate the families that are making it work, you will be able to heal and mature from your brokenness. Wisdom will begin to replace pain as you show mercy. And you will realize most of those thriving families are struggling to stay strong and face hurdles everyday. A lot of the time during this maturing process, many of you will be rewarded with new family relationships. So please don't write God's plan out of your family..He's not finished!

I encourage you to read and re-read Ephesians 5 and 6..scripture that shares a lot of wisdom about the family structure. Open your heart again my friend.

Walking Away

I haven't had much to say lately. I've been doing alot of observing. I guess that can be good and bad. I've noticed such a shift about how people perceive relationships or maybe its me just now waking up to how life has changed. It seems there is such a lack of mutual respect for one's companion, especially in the dating world and it concerns me greatly. I have a daughter in this arena and boys that will enter it later so it behooves me to pay attention right now. I can't put my finger on the reasons for it...Ignorance? Rebellion? Indifference? I don't understand how two people can be in a relationship, yet be so detached and fine with it. It isn't confined to physical relationships either. It is a spiritual issue as well. People have become so flippant about their view of Christianity and the importance of their relationship with Christ. When did we decide the Word has no relevance? I assure you, it is still THE authority for happiness in our lives.

More and more people are in need of counseling and those same folks are deciding that church is not what they thought so they are walking out and giving up. Do you see the connection? Its about Relationship! When we walk out on our intimacy with the Lord Jesus, we walk out on true fellowship and happiness. And believe me, it will affect ALL areas of our life. Spiritual decisions don't stay spiritual...they are eternally connected to our soul, our feelings, our perceptions, and ultimately our actions. If we want a change in the physical, the best place to start is the spiritual. What turns most people off to this is the fact that those changes begin within ourselves, not that other person we so want to see change, and its scary to think we might be the only one to make the decision to follow Christ. But being aloof has gotten us nowhere.

Waiting on the other person to take the high road has not happened so take it yourself. Don't be ashamed of believing that Jesus can make a real difference in who you are. I've walked through the illusion of thinking my spiritual decisions would have no affect on my physical life. It is truly a gray and vain place to be. It does indeed matter what you decide today. Remember this...your perceptions, your ideas, your goals, successes, new journeys, new relationships, old relationships, basically EVERYTHING in your life will not be complete and fulfilling until you have made a personal decision to follow hard after Christ. You may have heard it a few million times but start listening with your heart and don't tickle your ears with it any longer. Now is not the time to walk away or be cold to the Gospel. It is your lifeline.

When I Feel Like I Need a Therapist

"Momma said there'd be days like this, days like this, Momma said." I can't speak for you but from my own experience, I can yell! There are great days which are awesome, and then there are bad days, which are brutal. Therapy and counsel would be so nice to have at my fingertips. Yet, in reality it is just that close.

Life is hard. I think we all need a hub of people around us that we can trust to give us wise counsel. We should never feel weak or discouraged because we find ourselves in need of it. Even counselors need counsel. And great words are written down for us to read, absorb, and practice anytime of the day. Just take one Psalm and see what it tells us. Psalm 37 gives us all kinds of counsel about crises and decisions. And that's just ONE chapter out of the entire Bible. Wait, just look at verses 3-9...

We learn to do what is right, no matter what others do.
Don't rush into anything.
Prioritize God and His values to be first in your life and He will make sure you are rewarded in the end. The results will be in His hands so you don't have to worry over it.
When you are quiet and patient, you can think clearly and gain perspective.
Don't compare yourself with others, because it will always give bad motivation.
Refuse to get angry because it will never bring good results.
Ultimately, put your hope in God. He will guide you and use your decisions.
(The Maxwell Leadership Bible)

We gained all of that wisdom from just a few verses! Can you imagine how much better you would feel if you did this every day? Now imagine that wisdom coupled with wise counsel from your hub of trustworthy friends. You might feel like you don't have even one person to trust but please look again. There IS someone. You do NOT have to do everything alone. And God is sending you word right now that He has a plan and is working that plan to your benefit. He is sending you counsel as you are reading. Trust Him. He knows your heart. He feels your need!

You've Got 10 Minutes: GO!

A game was started among our bloggers back in 2009 and was included in my Feb post from that year. I've decided to continue the little blogger tradition and the letter chosen for me this year is "V". These are the ten words that come to mind as I think of this letter:

1. vocation- No matter what I do with my life, being a mom is by far THE most pleasurable task I've ever been given.

2. vacation- I would like that very much!

3. vegetarian- I could never be one. I love chicken too much.

4. view- My views have been changing with the help of the Holy spirit. I'm still wrestling with some that are long standing, but I'm getting there.

5. varmint- Gross! Makes me think of a dirty animal. Did you know it also refers to an annoying person?

6. victory- To experience this at every level of life. Guess it depends on your view of things.

7. vast- That's the kind of difference I'd like to make in just one person's life. That would be awesome.

8. vocal- Let my words be few and meaningful, that's my prayer.

9. Vistaprint- What a life savior for me this year. Love this website!

10. vintage- My daughter is a huge fan of everything vintage. I'm thinking she needs to make a lot of money to support this love of hers, starting with the VW Micro bus!

Hoping you will choose a letter this year and see if you can think of 10 things within 10 minutes. It's a good brain teaser for ya. :)

The Law of Empowerment:

Only Secure Leaders Give Power to Others- Many people gain their personal value and esteem from their work or position. Threaten to change either of them, and you threaten their self-worth. -John Maxwell, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

There's not much that equals the feeling of being empowered. It is absolutely invigorating. And there is not much equal to the feeling of defeat. It is absolutely depleting. My question for us to ponder today: Do we empower others or deplete them?

Let's look at leaders and followers...
In the words of John Maxwell, he says, leaders practice the Law of Empowerment by living out priorities. They live and lead from principle rather than from reaction.
Leaders are to...
1. Act from their principles.
2. Empower others even when it's difficult.
3. Live off of character.

Followers often...
1. React from their feelings.
2. Withdraw in difficult times.
3. Live off of emotions.
(taken from The Maxwell Leadership Bible, NKJV)

All of us want to be empowered, yet we leave it to others to give us our empowerment fix. We are constantly looking for someone to make us feel better about ourselves. Let us stop today! May I present that if we begin to empower others, we in turn will be empowered? You might not consider yourself a leader but you need to reconsider the idea. It is a matter of the heart.

If you are teetering between the two, leader and follower, then I challenge you to a duel! You have principles don't you? If not, get some. You need them. You have character for sure. Make certain it is character worth cloning. And when you feel the urge to wallow in self doubt and withdraw from everything around you, stop and think. Is this how I want to be known? Is this the legacy I want to leave? Draw your line in the sand. Decide this is the last day you will suck the life out of others and have others suck it from you. You are worth the fight for your own dignity and confidence.

Loves Me--Loves Me Not

Nothing feels normal about being rejected or feeling betrayed by someone to whom you've given your heart. Let's just get that settled right away. I'll tell you what the normal is: hurt, disbelief, anger, grief, depression, guilt, all the things you don't want anyone to know you're really feeling. I've seen a lot of couples in counseling that have decided this is the last effort to make it work. Some work things out and some just go to the sessions as a means to fill an agreement. It's unfortunate that 100% aren't completely mended but the statistics show us that it's a split almost right down the middle,and that is in Christian couples. I firmly believe in counseling and encourage you to look into it if you are in a relationship, and especially prior to marriage. Even if it doesn't yield the results you were hoping for, it will help you to get to the next step. It might even give you the courage you've needed to make some hard core decisions about your life and those in it. Don't consider counseling as an end to your relationship. Consider it the beginning to a healthier you. You deserve to care for yourself.

I look at the life of Hosea and think about how desperate his situation was. God told this prophet to marry a woman that was going to be unfaithful. He knew it from the beginning, yet he still married her. She may have had good intentions but that was not enough to make a solid marriage. You may be experiencing the kind of humiliation Hosea went through but just like his situation, God is a redeemer. He is able to rekindle or create a pure love between you and yours. He delights in making things that seem hopeless, into something more beautiful than it started. It is not too late. God longs to set your course on a path that is filled with peace. Please don't settle for less. You deserve to be cherished. And yes, it is possible! Just open your heart to Christ. He will whisper love songs to you that will never fade. Beloved, God is in love with you right now, just as you are.

Am I Moving?

I saw a picture of a building under construction. The foundation had been faulty and was being redone in areas, while walls were coming up on the sides where the foundation was strong. I was dreaming of course but there was no doubt in my spirit what this building represented...it was a picture of me. It was surrounded by sky scrapers so my mind thought only one thing. I was meant to be a sky scraper too. God was so patient with my arrogance. He explained how the size of the building had no relevance at this point. The foundation was the issue and if it wasn't corrected, there would be nothing to build upon. I was skeptical since the walls were being constructed at such a slow rate. He seemed a lot more positive; He was holding the blueprints and could visualize the finished structure.

He told me to be patient with the building process and not to abandon the construction. It would be a strong place to dwell if I did not concern myself with the size of the finished structure but would focus on the hidden parts that make it durable. He never showed me the blueprints. And His words still echo in my mind about the foundation being the most important feature. I'm optimistic about the progress, hopeful that walls are coming on up. I would be thrilled if it were completely closed in and ready for a decorator...now THAT would be some progress. The Holy spirit continues to remind me that slow progress is still progress. When building a structure meant to withstand all kinds of storms and perils, the process has to be precise and methodical.

We are moving my friend. It might take a while and some things may have to undergo some reconstruction. But that is okay. We are going to be better because of it.

Another Chance

That's what I'm hoping for this year...another chance. Most of my friends and family already know, but sharing my heart about even the ugly issues has always helped my healing process. On Christmas Eve, I found out I was expecting our 5th baby. I admit I had mixed emotions since I'm 40 yrs old, one about to leave for college and one still in diapers...not to mention the expense. I was also pretty adamant about this child being a girl. I just couldn't picture another boy added to the crew. On New Year's Eve, I had a miscarriage. I don't think I can properly explain all the emotions I've felt since then but the most dominant one is grief. I lost the baby and it overwhelmed my heart with such sorrow, I had no strength to fight the depression. I immediately asked for prayer because, well you just know when you've gotta have it. So thanks a million to all of you that prayed for me. It has made and is making all the difference in my life and outlook toward the future.

I've learned a couple of things through this experience I'd like to pass along. The first is to be grateful...in EVERY situation. I honestly thought (and prided myself) that I was a grateful person. I've always made an effort to put others first, tried to be thankful in tough times, rejoiced with others when things were great for them, etc. Oh, but God got my attention in a new way. I've learned that we don't place demands on God. When He gives a gift, its His choosing about what it is and how its delivered. HE is the giver, and HE is the taker of those gifts if we choose to turn our nose up at how He desires to bless us. We have been taught for a long time to claim what we desire in Jesus name and we can have it. But that's not the case when we forget He has a plan that just might deviate from the one in our finite brains. When we've surrendered our lives to Him, we have committed to letting Him have control. I thought I'd learned this a long time ago but obviously some things got lost along the way. Maybe this can be a reminder to all of us that we can forget what we've placed in God's hands, but He doesn't forget and being grateful through it all can prove very beneficial. I can now say, if given another opportunity to birth a child, gender is no longer an issue. I trust that God has a greater plan and gives what is best for us. If I'm not given another opportunity, I have to accept that and trust that God has a different plan for me. I know He is my Father who loves and cares more deeply for me than any other person in this world so please don't misunderstand my intentions here. I know God allows life to happen, which includes bad and good. I'm not implying that He did this to teach me a lesson. He has always treated me better than I deserved, trust me. But since He allowed this to take place, I couldn't avoid the writing on my heart that is causing me to pay closer attention.

Secondly, I'm learning the importance of release. I guess that's my word for this new year..Release. But from a different standpoint. I've come to realize it makes for a difficult journey if you've released God's blessings over a life that's full of junk. How about releasing some junk first so God's blessings don't feel like a band aid and instead, will fill your heart with joy and fulfillment. I'm having to let go of some deep wounds and great insecurities. It is proving very hard to master but I know I'm not alone in this. God is right here to help! I've had a hard time understanding why mature Christians didn't share the same morals I have. But I cannot force people to live my convictions. A relationship with God is a personal thing and must be for each individual. My personal convictions are just mine. I can not place them on another. It's not my duty to enforce a certain moral belief system into one's life. So I'm trying to release control of what I'm not suppose to be trying to control in the first place...trying to watch over everybody and keep them in line does make one tired and frustrated anyway.

It doesn't have to be my way or no way. I truly want God's way. And I'm now willing to get completely out of the way in order for Him to show me the right way! Whew!! As you can see, I still need prayer...got a long way to go.