Let.It.Go.

I remember having a set of CDs of a vocal coach many years ago and he would always say, "practice does not make perfect...practice makes permanent." He was right. We can practice for months in the wrong key without training our ear and be just as bad as when we first started. Recently, after experiencing a lousy job interview, this coach's teaching came back to my mind. I went through all of the normal evaluative questions to see what needed to change before the next interview. Although there were plenty of things for me to work on, I was bothered with one big question. Did I really want the job?

The answer was NO.

I was feeling desperate and went to the interview thinking it would show that I was really trying. Think about it. What IF they had offered the position? What happens months down the road when I'm feeling stuck in a job that doesn't pay great, doesn't allow room for growth, and is not what I wanted in the first place?

When we do things out of desperation, it is rooted in fear. We fear not having a job and what effect that has on our family. We fear not ever experiencing real success. We fear making too many mistakes. Fear for our children. And grandchildren. Fear for our aging parents. Fear over relationships that have threatened the boundaries of our marriage. Fear over family members that continue to rely on drugs for their comfort. Fear speaking up because of being misunderstood. I mean we could go on and on. When does the fear stop?

God says to Be Courageous. He reminds us that He did not give us a fearful spirit. He has made us powerful, loving, and well capable of making sound decisions. If practice makes permanent, I hope we will practice letting go of fear.

Recently a friend and I simultaneously stepped into our bathrooms, lifting our hands out to God asking Him to take the burdens and fears from us. We were both having a really rough day! Our problems have not gone away. Not much has changed that we can see. Do we need to be afraid? We need only to renounce fear and grab onto trust in our Father, knowing He will guide us if there's something else we need to do.

I pray we remind ourselves (everyday) of how powerful our Father is, how mindful He is toward us, and how much He longs to set us free from fear.

Finding A Place

I am not gonna pretend; life is HARD. Marriage is HARDER. And parenting is downright CRAZY. It is not a pretty journey all the time, not even half the time. But when things go right, well, it's absolutely the best feeling in the world. So we all hang in there day after day holding onto hope, sometimes shreds of it, yet holding tight. This past year has been one of the toughest for our family. And in all of the mess we've trudged through, including mistrust, medical diagnoses, financial hardship, and job searches, I'm learning that you can feel out of place at any age. Truthfully, when things get SO hard that you can't even concentrate, there is a spiritual problem. And those kind of problems have no respect of person...doesn't matter where you're from, who raised you, or what kind of life you've built for yourself. I know I'm not the only one that's struggled to find their place in life. That's why I'm risking the transparency with you. We DON'T have it all together. We DON'T live the perfect life. And it's crazy to think that ANY family does because it's just not true.

Some of you might be thinking, oh here we go with all this spiritual bleh, bleh, bleh. Hold on for a minute please. The enemy of our soul LOVES to isolate us with thoughts of not feeling good enough, not being smart enough, not being anyone important enough. And so we work harder, grow more bitter, lose sleep, get more agitated with co-workers and friends, stop speaking to family, quit church, and nevermind about reading just one verse of the Bible, or worse, we read a few verses because we just KNOW its for that person we really love to hate. And there in a nutshell IS a spiritual problem.

Don't you want that to change? We do not have to resolve that this is the way it will be for us. No! I refuse to allow demonic influence to dictate the welfare of my family. You and I do not have to tolerate the spiritual forces that come against us. Stand up for yourself! Stand up for your family! Pick up your Bible. Read it for you. Not for others. Just for you. Speak it aloud like you once did. And believe it again.